For the Sherlock fandom, I’ll write a short ficlet OR alternative lyrics for the tune/pairing/theme of your choice. For examples of the latter, see The Ballads of John and Sherlock.
For the Cabin Pressure fandom, I’ll write you a short, all-dialogue ficlet in the style of a Cabin Pressure episode. Wondering what that would look like? Check out my It’s All Fun and Games series.
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Or, if my work isn’t quite what you’re looking for, you can find lots of other talented contributors at the main FTH 2020 Offerings page.
Sherlock Holmes is Getting High (E) Don’t worry — this addiction is a good one. Sherlock is high on a 97% solution of dopamine, norepinephrine, and oxytocin, courtesy of his doctor.
O Come, O Come, Johnlockers Everywhere (M) Some people believe in Santa Claus. Some people believe in Johnlock. I know who I’d rather see undressed this holiday season…
Mycroft the Ice Man (M) What happens when the Ice Man and the Virgin finally hook up with the men of their dreams? Irene would be shocked.
Mockin’ Around the Christmas Tree (G) Sherlock may enjoy mocking the feelings of others, but it turns out that he has some of his own.
The Holly and the Mistletoe (M) Of course Sherlock’s favourite holiday plants are both toxic. But perhaps this year they can provide him with something more than just an interesting case.
Sherlock Baby (T) Sherlock Baby, just clean up that experiment now — Oh wow — You’re an awful bad boy, Sherlock Baby, please let’s not blow the flat up tonight…
Carol of the Beads (E) Father Christmas has left some special toys under the tree for Sherlock and John…
Mycroft Got Run Over by a Reindeer (G) The title says it all. At least, that’s what John and Sherlock fervently hope. Anything else would be too horrific to contemplate.
Away in a Drug Den (M) What could be more addictive than a 7% solution? Sherlock is about to find out.
John’s Getting a Divorce for Christmas (G) When your wife lies to you and shoots your best friend, there’s one gift that’s always appropriate — divorce.
Hark! The Scotland Yarders Sing (E) For years, the detectives at Scotland Yard have been laying wagers on when John and Sherlock will finally get together. Now, all bets — and shoes — are off…
Jingle Bell Cock (E) John has Sherlock all wrapped up like a gift for Christmas. With bells on…
Preparations were well underway for what was slated, against all odds, to become the second annual 221B Baker Street Christmas party, but there was a little hiccup in the works. Well, to be honest, it wasn’t just a little hiccup. It was a truly, amazingly, unbelievably intractable case of hiccups.
For John Watson — the one thus afflicted — this was a source of intense irritation. For Sherlock Holmes — his mad scientist of a flatmate — it was a golden opportunity for experimentation.
I’ve been enjoying the alternative endings folks have been writing for my Divinest Senses series so much that I started thinking about other fics I’d like to have some help continuing. Browsing through old comments, I found several requests for sequels that I’d like to toss out as prompts for all you lovely writers out there.
Does anyone feel inspired by this comment on Pants on Fire?
Before series 4, long before The Game is Now, there was Divinest Sense: a fic in which readers were invited to help Sherlock and John solve a series of puzzles to escape from a secret psychiatric facility on an uninhabited island. Next came Our Divinest Senses: the sequel in which John and Sherlock decided to turn their stay on the island into an all-expense-paid Sex Holiday, while decoding still more clues.
Then, The Final Problem aired, with a setting uncannily similar to that of the Divinest Senses series, but a plot that replaced all of the intriguing riddles and joyful sexytimes with horror. An author in despair cried out for help.
Superheroes swooped in to save the day, creating their own brilliant alternative endings for what would otherwise have become a tragically abandoned story. What could be better than a completed fic? A multiply-completed fic!
Now, as part of Fandom Trumps Hate, two more writers have joined the cause. Iwantthatcoat is hard at work on Our Divinest Senses: Yet Another Alternative Ending. And soon we’ll have a contribution from elwinglyre, too.
Who will be next? Whether your own personal superpower is reading, writing, drawing, podficcing, solving riddles, or hitting reblog, if you want to participate in a Sherlock-themed escape room without traveling to London, we need you! The Game is Johnlock.
My Genius Valentine (71 words, rated G) John sings a love song for Sherlock.
Valentine’s Magic (578 words, rated G) Greg has a trick up his sleeve this Valentine’s Day.
Magic of the Night (525 words, mature) Greg knew there would be consequences for the trick he pulled on Valentine’s Day; he only hoped he was correct in his prediction of what form Mycroft’s “revenge” would take.
Midnight Becomes You (1564 words, rated G) Cindersherlock longs to dance with Prince John at the Valentine’s Ball. But what will happen when Mrs. Hudson’s magic wears off at midnight?
Five times the hedgehog was an endangered species, and one time the hedgehog was John.
1.
“It’s Hedgehog Day!”
John blinked himself awake, his eyes gradually focusing on Sherlock’s excited face.
“Hurry up, John. We don’t want to miss the keynote address.”
John smiled indulgently up at his friend. Although this trip to the Day of the Hedgehog conference was ostensibly for a case, Sherlock’s avid interest in the spiky little creatures was clearly the motivating factor behind his agreeing to take on a client whom he would otherwise have dismissed as boring.
John had always thought of hedgehogs as being quite common, so he was surprised to learn that in recent years their population had declined so dramatically that they were now listed among Britain’s ten most endangered species. Hence this conference — a joint venture between the British Hedgehog Preservation Society and the People’s Trust for Endangered Species. It promised “a full day jam packed with fascinating talks by experts and scientists, as well as trade stands selling all the hedgehoggery you could think of and plenty of opportunity to mix with fellow hedgehog fans!”
It delivered all of this, plus a chance for Sherlock to show off his brilliance by solving the case before lunch, leaving them plenty of time to enjoy the “hedgehoggery.” John had to admit that he was having rather a good time. The event’s host — Hugh Warwick, author of A Prickly Affair — was funny and engaging, the hedgehogs were undeniably cute, and Sherlock’s enthusiasm was endearing.
Maybe a bit too endearing…
2.
“It’s Hedgehog Day!”
John blinked himself awake, his eyes gradually focusing on Sherlock’s excited face.
“Nope. Hedgehog day comes but once a year. Sorry.”
“Hurry up, John. We don’t want to miss the keynote address.”
“Sherlock, are you feeling okay?”
“I’d be feeling better if you’d get out of bed and put some clothes on, so we could go listen to Dr. Morris.”
John looked at his friend quizzically. “Did you delete the past 24 hours?”
“Of course not. Mrs. Hudson brought up tea and scones, you typed up your latest blog entry while I finished my experiment with the gall bladders, we caught the 12:43 train from Euston to Telford, arrived here at the International Centre, you acted surprised that they’d put us together in a double room, although you’re the one who booked the reservations, we went out to The Dragon’s Den for reasonably good Chinese, walked around the town centre, came back here, you went to bed, and I stayed up researching hedgehogs. Fascinating creatures. Now come on!”
“Sherlock, that was Friday. Yesterday we attended the conference. It’s over.”
Now it was Sherlock’s turn to look concerned. “John, yesterday was Friday. Today is Saturday. If you don’t believe me, check your phone.”
Over on tumblr, @a-different-equation tagged me to post my most popular fics of all time, and I thought I'd share them here, as well. I’m going with kudos as a measure of popularity, since my hit count is skewed in favor of my fics with the most chapters.
Multi-Chapter Fics
Figuring It Out Together (18k, explicit) When Sherlock realizes he’s demisexual, he and John explore what that means for their relationship. “So, being emotionally intimate makes you want to be physically intimate?” “Yes.”“Okay. And, uh, how far are you interested in going with that?” (A story in which there is a first time for everything…)
Divinest Sense (26k, explicit) John has been sectioned — deemed to be a danger to himself and others — and is facing six months in an experimental psychiatric treatment facility. After his recent drug overdose, Sherlock is being shipped off by his brother to live amongst the mad, as though this will somehow improve his mental health. What will happen when these two damaged men meet under the least auspicious of circumstances? Hint: You can expect some humorous misunderstandings, burgeoning attraction, coded clues that the reader is invited to try to decipher, eventual explicit sex, and altogether more fluff than one might imagine, given the rather dark premise of this story.
The Mole (18k, teen) Ten strangers — Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Martha Hudson, Molly Hooper, Jim Moriarty, Greg Lestrade, Sally Donovan, Philip Anderson, Mary Morstan, and Irene Adler — must work as a team to win money on a reality TV show hosted by Mycroft Holmes. The twist? One of them is a mole, hired by the producers to sabotage the game.
Ficlets
John Watson and the Curse of the Were-Kitten (2193 words, rated G) Limping away from the crime scene, John glanced up at a nearby rooftop. His mouth dropped open at what he saw: Sherlock, silhouetted against the rising full moon. Realising that he was gawping like a fool, John looked around to make sure he wasn’t being observed. When he turned back, Sherlock had vanished. All that remained on the rooftop was a small black kitten, padding between the chimney pots.
Johnlock Roulette (2293 words, mature) Five times John spun the wheel, and one time he came out a winner.
Reverse Psychology (537 words, rated G) Rosie Watson-Holmes conducts an experiment on her dads.
Songs
Mycroft the Ice Man(mature) What happens when the Ice Man and the Virgin finally hook up with the men of their dreams? Irene would be shocked.
Losing My Virginity (explicit) John’s cock is bigger, it’s thicker than mine, and I’m a bit scared — the length that it will grow to, the size that it will be — oh no, I’m very tight; will it be all right?
Sherlock Holmes is Getting High (explicit) Don’t worry — this addiction is a good one. Sherlock is high on a 97% solution of dopamine, norepinephrine, and oxytocin, courtesy of his doctor.
If you’re a writer, please consider yourself tagged to share your all time top works.
Here are the most popular works I’ve posted on AO3 this year, including a new Hidden Gems category for the best ratio of kudos to hits:
Top Multi-Chapter Fics
Most Kudos —Sherlock in Oz (7k, teen) When Sherlock and John travel to Kansas to help Mrs. Hudson’s niece, the motel has only one room left — with a double bed. So far, everything is predictable. But not for long…
Most Comments —Not Entirely Clueless (130k, teen) Sherlock Holmes, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and a gay disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; yet he had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to interest or intrigue him. And then the murders began.
Most Hits —Sherlock of Green Gables (WIP, 50k+, teen) Mycroft Holmes and Greg Lestrade, confirmed bachelors who have recently moved to Avonlea, decide to adopt an orphan girl to help with the housework, rather than hiring someone local, who might be tempted to carry tales back to the village about how many beds were — or were not — slept in. However, the hand of fate steps in to deliver them a boy, instead. Since Sherlock could just as easily be a girl’s name, they decide to keep the child, and pass him off as a girl. Little do they know just how much trouble — and joy — Sherlock will bring into their lives.
Hidden Gem —Sleeping Irene (2.5k, teen) A feminist retelling of Sleeping Beauty, with Molly as the unlikely hero.
Most Comments —Three Continents, No Compliments (643 words, mature) John must have gotten his nickname after having got people on three continents into his bed, Sherlock thinks after their third sexual encounter. But to get someone into bed and to actually provide any sexual satisfaction are two very different things, because while Sherlock might not have had quite so many partners, he does know what constitutes good sex, and this isn’t it (and Sherlock is fairly certain that whoever John bedded before him can testify to that simple fact). A fic in which John earned his nickname because of his charms rather than his (frankly appalling) technique in bed.
Most Hits —The CRUEL of Baskerville (2k, explicit) Something is lurking in the Cephalopod Research Underwater Experimentation Laboratory — something with which Sherlock and John are about to become intimately acquainted…
Hidden Gem —The Elves and the Brew-Maker (1661 words, rated G) Mrs. Hudson is determined to bring Sherlock and John together - with a little help from some ugly Christmas jumpers and a wee bit of magic.
Top Songs
Most Kudos —Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (270 words, mature) A remix of SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John’s brilliant fic Gimme Shelter
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